The Super Bowl - Or, the Oscars for Straight Men

[Akash]

THE NATION
southpaw by Dave Zirin
We Might Be Giants

[posted online on February 4, 2008]

When you watch Rambo or James Bond, or even Jason Bourne, you always know who will emerge victorious. So much of the New England Patriots' unbeaten season was like that. They occasionally fell behind, but always delivered, satisfying fans of pro wrestling, Die Hard movies and Hillary Clinton's campaign, all of which thrive on an air of inevitability. But predestination means powerlessness. And this is why I love sports: every once in a while, it demonstrates that chance--even real change--can actually happen.

Super Bowl XLII was supposed to be a coronation of the New England Patriots. They came into the game 18-0, a record never before seen in the history of the sport. From the hype of the pre-game show, you'd get the impression the Patriots weren't even facing a carbon- based opponent: they were playing history. But on Sunday, it wasn't history that planted them in the Arizona desert. It was the wild-card New York Giants, the double-digit underdog. They were given no chance. But in sixty minutes of play, with a last-ditch touchdown drive by quarterback Eli Manning, and a stunning thirty-two-yard catch by Giants receiver David Tyree--who used his helmet as a hand--we got an ending no screenwriter would have the sand to write. The Giants win is the sports equivalent of standing in front of a tank and willing it to stop

New England quarterback Tom Brady and coach Bill Belichick were expected to treat the Giants defense like Barry Bonds treats an inside fastball. Patriots super-fan Bill Simmons compared their season to The Perfect Storm: "If this Patriots season really is a perfect storm, then the Super Bowl should end like that Clooney movie.... by the time the game ended, New York's boat would have been smashed to smithereens," he wrote. "That's what the football version of a perfect storm should look like. Will we see it on Sunday? I say yes. The Big Pick: Patriots 42, Giants 17."

Imagine The Perfect Storm, if the had boat won. That is what happened.

The half-time show was sponsored by Bridgestone Firestone, currently being sued by activist groups in the US for using child labor on its vast rubber plantations in Liberia. Other commercials gave us a creepy, vacant-eyed baby selling financial advice; James Carville and Bill Frist drinking a Coke and seemingly falling in love; and a morbidly obese man with electrodes on his nipples, which I think was an ad for Club Med Gitmo. Thirty seconds of this drivel costs $2.7 million. Only someone with seriously deep pockets could use this time to send a really serious message. That was Barack Obama. He ran local commercials in twenty critical cities during the game, promising to end the war in Iraq, save the planet and do everything short of eliminate body odor if elected President. The ads were seen by more than 100 million people, and if Obama hasn't raised expectations by now, the bar has certainly now been set high. (And while the Senator from New York stood by her Giants, Obama predicted the Patriots to win. But just as you can't oppose war by voting for military funding, you can't claim to stand with the downtrodden and oppressed and pick the Patriots.)

But Hillary and Obama weren't the leading political players on Super Bowl Sunday. That was Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter. He wants answers about how the NFL and the Patriots had dealt with allegations that the Patriots have been surreptitiously videotaping other team's practices.

The furor has been fueled by rumors that the Patriots had videotaped the St. Louis Rams' Super Bowl XXXVI walk-through in 2002. The 20-17 win by the Patriots, called the greatest upset in sports history, put them on the road to dynasty status.

Specter also wants to know why, after the Patriots were caught red, white and blue-handed in 2007 taping the New York Jets signals, NFL officials had the evidence destroyed. The Senator effectively called NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, just named the most powerful man in sports by Business Week, a liar. "The commissioner's explanation as to why he destroyed the tapes does not ring true," Specter said.

"It could go to hearings," Inspector Specter told ESPN's Bob Ley Sunday. "This is a matter to be considered by the [Senate Judiciary] Committee. I don't want to make any broad assertions or elevate it beyond what I have a factual basis for doing. We're going to follow the facts and if warranted, there could be hearings."

A final, delicious aspect of all this is the Boston Globe's decision to publish a commemorative book,19-0: The Historic Championship Season of New England's Unbeatable Patriots. It's now been yanked from Amazon.

For Boston sports fans, this was a day that will live in infamy. For those who traffic in Boston schadenfreude it was sweeter than pie. For someone who, growing up, had a life-size poster of Lawrence Taylor on my wall, this was a very good Super Bowl. Whatever happens with Specter's investigation--and whether the Pats may have tainted Super Bowl wins of the past--the outcome of this year's game reveals one simple truth: there's no point fighting for something you don't truly love. And by the grace of David Tyree, I love me some sports.
http://www.thenation.com/doc/20080218/zirin

[cam]

You Giants fans might enjoy this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdUdlR7XfAw

[Mister Tee]

Most extraordinary Super Bowl in history. Merely the Giants upsetting the hugely favored Patriots would have been memorable (echoing Namath over the Colts in '69 -- an unexceptional game still thought of as legendary). For the game to have been won on a last minute drive, a la Montana at his peak, takes it up another notch. And for that drive to have included one clutch play after another, cluminating in that two-headed miracle -- I don't know how Manning evaded what seemed ten defenders, or how Tyree held onto that ball above his helmet -- brought it to a legendary level.

You guys better get used to Manning. He can suck for five years without any threat to his job now. (Doug Flutie had an entire NFL career more or less based on one miraculous play; no reason Manning can't do the same)

And for a New Yorker who's been hearing for months now that Boston is the undisputed sports capital of the nation, this is especially sweet.

[Akash]

Anything and everything you can find Bog.

I'm sorry guys, I know this is a really stupid/trivial thing to be upset about and I'm sure I won't care by this time tomorrow, but right now, I'm really fucking disappointed. I apologize to Giants' fans for being such an ungracious loser.

Just so long you know your team sucks and Eli Manning is a butt nugget.



Edited By Akash on 1202103875

[Bog]

What kind of drink do you use to comfort you in a time such as this?

I know being a true Buckeye and avid fan, and thus having a shit ton of experience with this in the past year, Maker's Mark is what gets the job done....

[Akash]

Right Bog, plus they has a perfect season. And to go out like this? So disappointing!

[Bog]

Aakash, I am with ya buddy...and I find it a damn shame that so many find them to be so "vomit-inducing" when really it's amazing...and still is, but very very injured at the moment...especially when compared to the Yankees or Red Sox in baseball buying all their shit and whatnot...the Patriots churn out stars, can't pay them what they feel the deserve at that point and lose their players (Samuel and some offensive linemen most definitely this offseason)

I don't feel pain, but I feel utter disappointment, as dws said, that little bitch wasn't going to even play football if the Chargers didn't trade him, that's enough for my shitlist....but nothing is worse than hearing Mercury Morris talk more shit about his team that didn't compete against a single playoff team all his great season

I see Damien, that you hate Belichick, but I hope you respect his football coaching ability and aren't on the "he gives bad interviews" bandwagon....it's all a gimmick, and it works damn well...

[Akash]

Zach, I'm taking this semester off from law school. I'm interning at The Nation and I'm currently in California with two journalists. No groping to be had, my friend. Though there is one girl working on the Obama campaign who...well, let's just say I've never wanted to believe Obama's message of "hope" and "reaching out" so badly.



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[Johnny Guitar]

Didn't mean to be anti-Patriots. I was basically a neutral, but before the game decided I'd throw my lot in with the Giants--underdogs, my city of residence, etc. (Understand that, while I enjoy watching football, I of course prefer the "other" football, and thus don't follow NFL. And if I did, I'd follow the Redskins. Which perhaps explains to you further why I just don't follow the NFL.)

Aakash, what are you doing drunk and posting on the UAADB? Shouldn't you be playing beer pong or groping someone?

[Akash]

Man, you guys are killing me. Are there no disappointed Pats fans here?

On the plus side though, I'm definitely drunk enough...



Edited By Akash on 1202100064

[Johnny Guitar]

Great defense from the Giants (it felt like Brady got sacked about twenty times), and a really riveting fourth quarter.

My favorite commercials (three bright spots in a sea of shit):

- "Thriller" lizards dancing
- That talking baby on the webcam
- The deaf commercial (we didn't get to see this live, actually, but had heard about it beforehand, so I looked it up online afterwards)

[Sonic Youth]

So are the Giants heroes or villians in nationwide eyes? People were sick-to-vomiting of the Patriots by now, right?

Congrats, Eli! Enjoy your new contract.

History, indeed. One of the greatest S'bowls ever, and for once that ain't hyperbole. I'm even gonna buy a New York Post tomorrow. 'Night.

(Dances a four-Heiniken dance............)



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[Akash]

Still for such underdogs to defeat the heretofore unbeateben Pats on the biggest sports stage of them all is a pretty great story, and one that will have resonance for years.

UGH. Wait, I'm not drunk enough yet!

[kaytodd]

Is this anything like the Miracle Mets?

Not a bad analogy. At this time last year, people were predicting the Giants coach, Tom Coughlin, would be fired. That was a dysfunctional locker room and organization. Then the Giants got off to a terrible start this season. I would not have expected them to win the Super Bowl.

But what made the 1969 Mets different was that they had never been good. Then they suddenly win the World Series. The Giants had several mediocre years but they had won a couple of Super Bowls a long time ago and lost one seven years ago.

[Damien]

Is this anything like the Miracle Mets?

It's somewhat akin, although the difference is that until 1969, the Mets were pretty much of a laughing stock, the doormats of baseball (but lovable because of their very ineptitude). So the fact that they actually not only won the NL East and then the National League pennant and then the World Series seemed like something that could only exist in the realm of badly melodramtic bad sports novels for kids -- truly astonishing and truly wondrous.

The Giants have a storied history, with plenty of past glories. Still for such underdogs to defeat the heretofore unbeateben Pats on the biggest sports stage of them all is a pretty great story, and one that will have resonance for years.



Edited By Damien on 1202096721