Political Funnies
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OscarGuy
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It's doubtful. But, I really have no idea...I guess I can ask my site admin to see if there are any infections on the site, but I doubt there are...and I would have no idea how to check.
Wesley Lovell
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both." - Benjamin Franklin
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both." - Benjamin Franklin
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Big Magilla
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OscarGuy
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Recap of Tuesday:
LOS ANGELES – As the presidential campaign enters its final week, late-night TV hosts aren't letting up. A selection of jokes from Tuesday night:
"Barack Obama is encouraging his supporters to take Election Day off so they can help him get out the vote. A lot of Americans said they were already planning to take the day off, 'cause they don't have a job." — Conan O'Brien, NBC's "Late Night."
"One week to go. One week from today, the election. As a matter of fact, earlier this morning, they, down in Florida, unloaded the crooked voting machine. So they are in midseason form." — David Letterman, CBS' "Late Show."
"I guess there seems to be some trouble brewing between Sarah Palin and John McCain. McCain aides say that Sarah Palin is `going rogue' and not taking advice or notes from the McCain campaign. They say it is hard to keep her from going off script and making statements that hurt the campaign. It's gotten so bad her Secret Service code name is now `Joe Biden.'" — Jay Leno, NBC's "Tonight Show."
"Tomorrow night Barack Obama is buying a half-hour commercial on CBS, NBC and Fox. Not on ABC, though. I think it is because they've got `Dancing with the Stars.' That's where viewers can watch an elderly person make a fool out of themselves and then get voted out of the competition. Which is completely different from the election, of course." — Craig Ferguson, CBS' "The Late Late Show."
"Republicans are warning voters right now, that if Barack Obama is elected president the Democrats will control all three branches of the government. John McCain said this would be dangerous, Dick Cheney said it would be expensive, and Sarah Palin said, `There's three branches of government?'" — O'Brien.
"Sarah Palin made three campaign stops today: Saks, Neiman Marcus and Bloomingdales." — Leno.
"Here's how it works. Election is Tuesday. And then Wednesday is the first day of Sarah Palin's 2012 campaign." — Letterman.
"Sarah Palin told a crowd yesterday, when campaigning she doesn't wear her wedding ring because the shape of it hurts her finger when she's shaking a lot of hands. And Bill said to Hillary, `See! I told you I wasn't making it up.'" — Leno.
LOS ANGELES – As the presidential campaign enters its final week, late-night TV hosts aren't letting up. A selection of jokes from Tuesday night:
"Barack Obama is encouraging his supporters to take Election Day off so they can help him get out the vote. A lot of Americans said they were already planning to take the day off, 'cause they don't have a job." — Conan O'Brien, NBC's "Late Night."
"One week to go. One week from today, the election. As a matter of fact, earlier this morning, they, down in Florida, unloaded the crooked voting machine. So they are in midseason form." — David Letterman, CBS' "Late Show."
"I guess there seems to be some trouble brewing between Sarah Palin and John McCain. McCain aides say that Sarah Palin is `going rogue' and not taking advice or notes from the McCain campaign. They say it is hard to keep her from going off script and making statements that hurt the campaign. It's gotten so bad her Secret Service code name is now `Joe Biden.'" — Jay Leno, NBC's "Tonight Show."
"Tomorrow night Barack Obama is buying a half-hour commercial on CBS, NBC and Fox. Not on ABC, though. I think it is because they've got `Dancing with the Stars.' That's where viewers can watch an elderly person make a fool out of themselves and then get voted out of the competition. Which is completely different from the election, of course." — Craig Ferguson, CBS' "The Late Late Show."
"Republicans are warning voters right now, that if Barack Obama is elected president the Democrats will control all three branches of the government. John McCain said this would be dangerous, Dick Cheney said it would be expensive, and Sarah Palin said, `There's three branches of government?'" — O'Brien.
"Sarah Palin made three campaign stops today: Saks, Neiman Marcus and Bloomingdales." — Leno.
"Here's how it works. Election is Tuesday. And then Wednesday is the first day of Sarah Palin's 2012 campaign." — Letterman.
"Sarah Palin told a crowd yesterday, when campaigning she doesn't wear her wedding ring because the shape of it hurts her finger when she's shaking a lot of hands. And Bill said to Hillary, `See! I told you I wasn't making it up.'" — Leno.
Wesley Lovell
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both." - Benjamin Franklin
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both." - Benjamin Franklin
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OscarGuy
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It's cutting off every time I post. freaky.
It's actually deleting sections...screwy...ok. we'll try this one at a time.
"Political experts say that John McCain's only chance of winning the election next week is to attract swing voters. Unfortunately, McCain thinks swing voters are people who listen to Glenn Miller." — Conan O'Brien, NBC's "Late Night."
"They say now that Barack Obama is so far ahead in the polls, that the only way he could mess up the election is if he ... got rid of Joe Biden and replaced him with Andy Dick." — David Letterman, CBS's "The Late Show."
"McCain may be behind but the man is a fighter. He doesn't know the meaning of the word quit. He used to, but it was stored in the same part of his brain that remembered to vet his running mate." — Stephen Colbert, Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report."
"The other day, a guy who played a game of basketball against Barack Obama said that Obama spent the whole game `trash talking.' He also said Obama's trash-talking is eloquent, high-minded and inspirational." — Conan O'Brien, NBC's "Late Night."
"Today in Alaska the Anchorage Daily News, Alaska's largest newspaper, guess who they endorsed: Barack Obama. I know! That's another newspaper Sarah Palin will never read." — Craig Ferguson, CBS's "The Late Late Show."
"Sarah Palin has spent $150,000 on clothes. $150,000 on clothes. I'm telling ya, it would have been cheaper if McCain had picked Ellen Barkin. But that's nothing. She's got an even higher tab at LensCrafters." — David Letterman, CBS's "The Late Show."
It's actually deleting sections...screwy...ok. we'll try this one at a time.
"Political experts say that John McCain's only chance of winning the election next week is to attract swing voters. Unfortunately, McCain thinks swing voters are people who listen to Glenn Miller." — Conan O'Brien, NBC's "Late Night."
"They say now that Barack Obama is so far ahead in the polls, that the only way he could mess up the election is if he ... got rid of Joe Biden and replaced him with Andy Dick." — David Letterman, CBS's "The Late Show."
"McCain may be behind but the man is a fighter. He doesn't know the meaning of the word quit. He used to, but it was stored in the same part of his brain that remembered to vet his running mate." — Stephen Colbert, Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report."
"The other day, a guy who played a game of basketball against Barack Obama said that Obama spent the whole game `trash talking.' He also said Obama's trash-talking is eloquent, high-minded and inspirational." — Conan O'Brien, NBC's "Late Night."
"Today in Alaska the Anchorage Daily News, Alaska's largest newspaper, guess who they endorsed: Barack Obama. I know! That's another newspaper Sarah Palin will never read." — Craig Ferguson, CBS's "The Late Late Show."
"Sarah Palin has spent $150,000 on clothes. $150,000 on clothes. I'm telling ya, it would have been cheaper if McCain had picked Ellen Barkin. But that's nothing. She's got an even higher tab at LensCrafters." — David Letterman, CBS's "The Late Show."
Wesley Lovell
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both." - Benjamin Franklin
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both." - Benjamin Franklin
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Mister Tee
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I'm sure it was hilarious. (Yes, you inadvertently omitted it)OscarGuy wrote:My favorite is the Stephen Colbert one.
Maybe this is the spot to mention something I've been thinking for a few weeks now: Is there any doubt Tina Fey will be EW's Entertainer of the Year? The election has been the pop culture event of the year; mix in Fey's dead-on Palin with her multiple Emmy wins and she seems to be running unopposed.
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OscarGuy
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While these will only continue until the election and I usually miss a few, here is an article on AP with presidential jokes.
My favorite is the Stephen Colbert one.
Monday's late-night wrap-up of election jokes
see above.
Edited By OscarGuy on 1225214294
My favorite is the Stephen Colbert one.
Monday's late-night wrap-up of election jokes
see above.
Edited By OscarGuy on 1225214294
Wesley Lovell
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both." - Benjamin Franklin
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both." - Benjamin Franklin