Captain America: Civil War

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Re: Captain America: Civil War

Postby HarryGoldfarb » Mon Jan 14, 2019 6:03 pm

Big Magilla wrote:April Fool's review of the film. ... -1-review/

At one point, Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) dies and Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) inexplicably cuts his head off and drinks his blood to “absorb” his powers and become a master archer. I don’t know if that ever happened in the comics, but it’s certainly out of place here. In between the endless punch-’em-ups (all admittedly captured in beautiful IMAX scale) and Ant-Man (Paul Rudd) constantly remarking that he’s “just happy to be here,” the movie finally comes to an end with Captain America viciously decapitating Iron Man with his shield, which then causes a self-destruct function in his robo-suit that blows up Cap. The rest of the heroes all gather around the two charred corpses before War Machine (Don Cheadle) announces, “You know what? Violence is wrong. Let’s not fight each other. Let’s be friends.” To which Spider-Man replies, “Don’t you mean Super Friends?” After which everyone laughs and they have a group hug and the movie abruptly cuts to credits without warning.


This was a great reading...

Sorry for unearthing these way too old not-related-at-all-to-current-awards-season topics, but having been away from the board for too long I'm enjoying reading this old stuff...
"If you place an object in a museum, does that make this object a piece of art?" - The Square (2017)

Big Magilla
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Captain America: Civil War

Postby Big Magilla » Fri Apr 01, 2016 2:58 pm

April Fool's review of the film.

"Then a helicarrier suddenly falls from the sky, decapitating the young Zack Snyder and sending his little head flying towards the camera in 3D before the words “Civil War” explode across the screen, the text written in the boy’s blood and brain matter. It’s a pretty harsh attack from the folks at Marvel against their DC competitors, and such a wildly violent opening that I don’t know how Disney thinks the movie could possibly get a PG or PG-13 rating. Perhaps the studio decided to deliver an R-rated picture at the last minute to capitalize on the success of ‘Deadpool’, but it certainly feels out of place and decidedly wrong, setting the tone for a movie filled with similar missteps."

The full review is here including a shocking ending that if it were real would spell disaster for the genre: ... -1-review/
“Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.” - Voltaire

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